How do you make sense of something that doesn’t seem real? How do you deal with something you can’t remember, even a little of? How do you complain when, for the better part of two years or so, you’ve done things similar to those which now leave you feeling violated and traumatized, often willingly?

I am a slut, I know that, you don’t need to tell me. Despite what may have happened during my formative years, I still choose to open my legs at the drop of a hat. I don’t apologize for it and I don’t regret all of the things I’ve done, just a few.

Last Friday night though, or more properly the early hours of Saturday morning, I became the unwilling participant in an event that almost cost my life. The only way I can do this, to write this down, is to do it cold, to write it as a sequence of events, to objectively report the sequence as told to me by my friend who extracted the information from the instigator of my ordeal.

So here it is, this is what happened…

It was late, almost one o’clock in the morning, when I told my driver to go home, that I’d be going dancing then catching a taxi home when I was ready to leave. He drove away and I stepped into a club, one I’d not been to before. It was in a less desirable part of the city than I would normally have visited but adventure is in my blood and rough men interest me sexually. So why not?

I walked inside. Now, I don’t know what happened before a guy at the bar offered to buy me a drink, or I bought the drink. I can’t remember which. Anyway what comes next is from the information given to my friend by the guy I drank with.

While the music was pumping and I was writhing about to the beat, doing my Nina thing, the guy beside me slipped something into my drink (GHB I was later told) along with a sedative of some sort. I became uncoordinated and was leaning against the guy when he ‘helped’ me out of the club.

He put me in his car and drove me to a place nearby where his friends were waiting, a hotel, the cheap kind.

By the time he got me out of the car I was barely able to walk so he held me up and half-dragged me along, into the elevator and into the room.

I was stripped, thrown on the bed and the men began fucking me, in my cunt, my arse and in my mouth. They were shoving their cocks into my throat so far that I was gagging and vomiting the whole time. By the time the fourth or fifth guy had been into my cunt I had lost control of my bodily functions. I pissed on the bed and on myself. When I pissed on the men they beat me but it didn’t stop them fucking me. When I shit, they wiped me off and kept fucking my arse.

Once I closed my mouth when one man was putting his cock in and scraped his cock a little with my teeth. He hit me hard enough to blacken my eye and fracture a cheekbone.

In all, fourteen men took turns using me and when I had lost the ability to even move on my own they just flopped me around like a rag doll, fucking me until they had enough. one man put his cigarette out on my breast then had his friend hold me up for punching practice. I was lucky he only cracked two ribs.

At some point during their ‘fun’ a few men took turns flogging me with a whip one of them had brought.

They left me for dead on that hotel bed, bleeding and unconscious. It transpires that they fully expected me not to live. I don’t think they intended to kill me, they just didn’t care one way or the other.

When I was finally conscious, later in the morning around eight or so, I made my way home, I’ve no idea how, and later, phoned my doctor who had me taken to the hospital.

The tally of injuries in the end was: two cracked ribs, a fractured cheekbone, tearing to the cunt and arse requiring stitches, a burn to the breast, open and bleeding welts to my stomach, back, and legs (from the whipping), extensive bruising all over my body and face, several cuts not requiring stitching, and a concussion from the beating.

Blood and urine samples were taken for various tests to be performed as well as numerous scans, x-rays, etc.

So far, recovery is going well. I am under strict instructions not to have penetration sex of the cunt or arse for at least two weeks but preferably three. The stitches need to stay in for that long. How will I last three weeks?

It’s good to finally get it written down.

The greatest lesson I learned from this incident is never take your eyes off your drink for a micro-second. It could cost you.