This morning I’ve been thumbing through the internet and through the library here at the house. My former mistress had an extensive library of books whose titles are the epitome of eclecticism (showing off the vocabulary I’ve learned).

There, in the library, I found an entry that may well describe who I am.

A switch.

Such a simple word, so elegant. I found this definition in Wikipedia, “In BDSM, a switch is someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a top and other times as a bottom or (in the case of dominance and submission) sometimes as a dominant and other times as a submissive.”

That definition captures who I feel I am, up to a point.

For me though, being a ‘switch’ doesn’t limit itself to BDSM as an ‘activity’. It feels like something that encapsulates my entire life. It is not play, it is 24/7 and absolutely real.

There are moments when I feel and act dominant, sometimes at a cruel and extreme level, and other moments when I feel very submissive and wish to feel pain inflicted on me and love it, also sometimes to an extreme level.

So, it seems, at least for now, I am both Mistress Nina, vicious dark angel of the dungeon and nina, plaything of the cruel.

Fawn is ready and willing for the former but I may need to engage someone for the latter.